Day 38
It’s a bitter sweet moment. I’m counting down the hours until they discharge me.
I finally get to go home after 38 long days at RCH. This is definitely bitter sweet because baby Girl will not be joining us quite yet. She will have to stay in NICU for about 3 more months.
At this moment, we know she is in the best place for her and has the best care possible. For this we are grateful and we are also grateful to get to spend some time with our boys to make up for lost moments.
Trusting God’s plan and staring our new chapter!
That was 35 days ago. I felt hopeful,but it was difficult as a part of me wanted to go home to make up for lost time and the other part of me felt guilty for not staying with Stella. The feeling of delivering and then having to leave without your child is unexplainable and something I don’t wish on anyone.
The first few weeks at home are now a blur. I remember walking into our home and a feeling of comfort instantly came over me. The long sleepless nights at the hospital are now a distant memory.
The past 35 days have been filled with lots of family time and routine, which is something we all craved after such a long ‘break’. In between all this, we do hospital visits 2-3 times per day.
One thing we’ve noticed, it has been hard connecting with friends and extended family, as our days are filled with a lot of back and forth. This is something, they say, they all expected. We are also grateful for their understanding.
When our journey at RCH NICU started, they told us that we would have good days and low days, and they were right. No one can prepare you for the low days. As a parent, you feel lost and hopeless as there is nothing you can possibly do to help your child. One minute she would be great and the next not so great. One day a good day and the next not. I would feel this deep deep sadness come over me, each and everytime there was a set back.
Reality is, that we have been blessed with two other children and at this moment, they are our distractions. If it wasn’t for them,we would be lost! For this we are also grateful!
To be honest, trying to find gratitude through those deep sad moments it extremely difficult, but once I snap out of it I remember- God never gives you anything you can’t handle.
He blessed us with a gift- a baby girl and she has her own journey. We are here to support her, but she is here to teach us many valuable lessons! Every hour, every day, is a true blessing! Imagine what life would be like if we all lived like every hour was our last?!