Today marks day 48 of Stella being born. Not gonna lie today was mentally draining. Since the last time I wrote she has had a few episodes where they had to take her off her feeds and stricktly do an IV feed.
Each and every time it is mentally draining. They run x-rays, do blood work, and there are always so manny nurses and doctors around.
Each time I think we get to a stable point and I feel like I can handle it, but it’s definetly been a roller coaster of emotions. I catch myself at times blaming myself for the occurring events, if only I could have kept her in a little longer, if only I would have slowed down. I have been really working on being consistent with my prayer practice and my journaling every day.
I find that writing down my thoughts has helped immensely! It helps me get rid of any fear and focus on the present moment. Finding gratitude in each day no matter what the day may hold.
Have you ever experienced yourself over thinking everything ? Yup I’m guilty of that! I recently went back to yoga, not only to get back into shape but to get my mind back into shape. As I grow through my journey I find that when my mind is calm and clear I tend to just do bette. I make better choices and over all feel better. Mental well bein comes first in my opinion over anything!
This passed weekend we had the opportunity to get out in nature. We took some time with the kids at the beach. After being in the hospital for so long I felt an abundance of gratitude fill my heart as my toes touched the sand. I forgot what it felt like to be fully present with the earth, and connected to nature.
Lately I have had constant reminders that life is too short. We walked to get the kids an ice cream and it just so happen that the gentleman who owned the ice cream shop is not doing good in health. He is planning to move back to his home town so that he can pass over there. Reminders are everywhere! Not getting cought up in the little petty things in life, being present in that exact moment, being in a state of just being and TRUSTING that your purpose will shine through takes continued practice.
As each morning approaches I make a conscious choice of how my day is going to be, So find and cherish those small things that allow you to shine, guide, and be guided to a bigger purpose!